4 months as Redd's mama

This was shared in one of my HELLP mama groups and it really touched me ☺️Being a mama can be a tough job---to all my mama friends I just want to remind you that you are amazing and the perfect mama for your babes!! 

Today Redd is 4 months old {actually yesterday I forgot to publish this draft #mommybrain ;) On each of his month "birthdays" I find myself snuggling him just a little tighter. Those first 46 hours of his life, when we were apart both fighting for our lives, were some of the hardest of my journey to motherhood and battle with HELLP Syndrome. 

My heart is so full for the other "angels" in our lives who lifted us up on this journey. Most specifically one nurse who swooped in with so much positivity and confidence as they were rushing me to the emergency c-section--she squeezed my hand and told me she was gonna be one of Redd's nurses. She briefly explained some of the possible complications but looked me in the eye and assured me that she would take care of my baby boy. 

I can't even explain how much love I have for this woman!! Unfortunately, Redd did stop breathing and had to be rushed from the operating room and resuscitated. Initially the respiratory therapist was struggling to get the c-pap to seal over Redd's mouth and nose so he was having a hard time stabilizing. Patrick says this nurse literally pushed the respiratory therapist out of the way and held that c-pap just perfectly--she continued to do that for over an hour until the Panda Team arrived and they could switch him to a different type of c-pap. Thank you sweet nurse for doing your job so that I get to do mine as Redd's mama everyday! <3 <3 <3

My 4 month old little buddy wearing a onesie his Auntie Ellen made him :)