LOVE your body...

I plugged in my old phone yesterday to get some pictures off of it and came across this one so I thought a little tbt would be fun today

Here I am about 2 months after RJ was born and then about 18 months later {and a couple months before I got pregnant with baby Redd!}

Seeing this last night made me feel SO much love for my body---it has been through a LOT this past 3 years. I have learned a lot about myself, life and what is most important to me.

The me in the left photo was mad about everything, drowning in sadness, filled with fear and heart broken I felt like a victim to our situation and struggled with not having any control over what was happening. My baby was gone. My liver was damaged. And my body was bloated, sore and exhausted.

I wanted to heal so I could get pregnant again and fill my aching arms with a baby. Hearing that my body needed more time before that could happen created a lot more anger, sadness, fear and even HATE.

I felt betrayed by my body! Why couldn't it just do a healthy pregnancy like everyone else?!

I knew a way I could help was to start taking care of my body and make healthier choices. I tried. I failed. I tried again and again and again but nothing stuck.

It wasn't until I started loving myself again and forgiving my body for how I felt it failed me that I was able to make a true lifestyle change.

I had to take care of myself--eat healthy, workout, change my inner dialogue because I LOVED myself {or was trying to love myself!} not because I hated me and was embarrassed by how I looked...which I was. I hated being in pictures or looking in the mirror even but instead of focusing on those negative thoughts I had to offer myself quite a bit of grace and focus on the positive things my body had done/was doing.

It took time and hard work but as I started to change the inside the outside changed too. And as the outside changed it was easier to keep working and fuel my positive self talk.

I share this because this is the time of year where there is so much focus on resolutions, weight loss and "new year, new you"----which is great! Being healthier and setting goals is an awesome way to live life to the fullest and be your best self! BUT I urge you to LOVE yourself! You are AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL in EVERY phase of life!! Those 10, 20, 30+ pounds don't make you any less or worse--you are ALWAYS awesome!!

Workout because you LOVE you and want to show your body that you LOVE it!! That's what I'm working to do---love myself and take care of myself so I can look and feel my best like in that pic on the right 💁